Life on the Rocks with a Twist of Gratitude

     Just thinking about thunderstorms.  Maybe because its God Awful hot here in   in NYC and I would like one to desperately break the heat ( why am I saying this in May?). I used to really like Thunderstorms.  but they terrorize my dog so rather than enjoy them I spend my time trying to get the dog to calm down They are a great analogy for life though A client of mine told me that  I paint my way through therapy with her, using analogies.    Sometime we have to go through the thunderstorm and the rumbling to come out clear on the other side  My twist of gratitude this evening for thunder storms and how the thunder storms of our life clear the way for us to see through the other side.

Liotti Ikefugi Playground From The Department of Parks NYC website "T his playground honors the memory of Sergeant Carmine Liotti (1924-1945) and Private First Class Lloyd Ikefugi (1923-1945), two young men from Staten Island who died fighting for their country in World War II l place of birth: New Brighton, Staten Island" This playground was a block over from my house growing up,  I have memories of my Aunt Frances taking me there to go on the swings.  Playgrounds back then were metal swings,  burn on your skin if it was hot metal slides,  and monkey bars. The ground was concrete  and if you fell you ran home, bloody, and  your mom would put stinging iodine  or mercurochrome on the cut.   Every Memorial  day. I guess from when I was born to around  1968 or 1970,  I was often awakened to the sounds of military shouts, taps, and a gun salute.  The local American legion post would assemble there with their flags. S...

  It's an easy Sunday morning here,  the sun is bright The weather has a mild chill in the air but it will get warmer. It is one of those  mornings where everything is just right. The fan is humming on low in my home office. I can hear the birds singing in the background,  It is  Memorial Day weekend,  The unofficial opening to summer here,   Beaches will get crowded  as will highways.  Im not big on summer I don't like   the heat  used to like the ocean but  arthritis in the knees makes me unsure now.  I have a lot of memories and thoughts about Memorial Day but I ll save that for tomorrow. I often tell my clients to do relaxation and self care in 10 minute intervals, Right now  I am just taking 10 minutes to enjoy an easy Sunday morning My twist of gratitude that I am able to do this on this glorious morning!

  I find it hard to take a complement.  Have you ever had that issue?  I am not sure whether it is because deep down inside I don't believe it,  or I have imposter syndrome. But I am usually very surprised when people tell me that I ve done something very well. There are a lot of stratergies. to overcome imposter syndrome.   Among those I tell clients " Celebrate your successes,  Let go of wanting to be perfect and having some self compassion." There are a lot more strategies you can find all over but  thats a good start. As for me I made a decision to un retire at least for the time being ( I un retired before I actually did retire but thats another blog). I am amazed  the few messages of relief or glad you are staying messages sent from co workers.  Stepping out side the box I think of that line Clarence utters in Its a Wonderful Life.  "Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives." (uttered before language was ...

  Sometimes you have to listen to your gut feelings. When you are ready to do something (change jobs/retire etc.)  and when you are not ready to do things.   Theres a lot to be said about gut feelings, Sometimes you just know.  When you are in love,  What you just need to buy, and more life altering decisions.You just run with it, I want to be ready to retire. (from the official job) I want to move on  but I guess there is something more I need to do there.   I don't know what it is. I am going into a situation I don't like, don't want to move. I cant stand; well higher ups and the decisions that where made .  But I am not ready to walk away. I'm not ready,  I am too connected to friends and clients,  So I made a decision to pull back the retirement decision and move forward for now ;and to keep on preparing for what will be next.   A long long time ago I visited Niagara falls with my husband. We flew.  We were s...

   The news out Texas continues to be heartbreaking,  A husband of a teacher who was murdered had a heart attack and died. leaving 4 children behind,   No words. The family   had set up a go fund me page.  There has been an outpouring of love for the town  More places to donate "The  school district  in Uvalde has opened  an official account  with  First State Bank of Uvalde  to support Robb Elementary families affected by the tragedy. People can send checks through the mail (payable to the "Robb School Memorial Fund") or donate money through Zelle to robbschoolmemorialfund@gmail.com" Other institutions and organizations are also raising money for the community. People can donate directly to a  Uvalde Victims Relief Fund created  by University Health, for example. The League of United Latin American Citizens (LULAC) has created  a fund for victims and survivors , and says 100% of contributions will go direct...

  I t is very very difficult  to look for a twist. I was up a good part of the night  watching the TV. I was  doing my usual thing of talking to  clients on line last night.  Had a busy night;  the nights have  been slower lately so I was caught up in session and session  after session,  When I got up ; and I usually don't do this , I decided to look at the headlines and I saw the news about the grade school shooting in Texas.  21 innocent people. I am horrified;  shocked and  numb.  School children and teachers massacred.  Heaven help us.   The only twist I see right now is the comfort of these words: A mazing Grace, how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me I once was lost, but now am found Was blind but now I see Was Grace that taught my heart to fear And Grace, my fears relieved How precious did that Grace appear The hour I first believed Through many dangers, toils and snares We have alr...

  Pictures.  Every picture tells a thousand stories.  Truth! When I work with my clients. I  often tell them to take mental snap shots of how they were feeling when something really wonderful happens; and to hold on to it for when they need it. Go to the file they keep in their mind and pull it out, I think its a very effective tool to take you out of one moment and bring you into another.  Changes the  brain chemistry, makes you smile give you evidence you  can smile and change a mood.  Looking at real pictures does the same thing. There are  articles about how when you  look at travel photos it elevates your mood,  Changes the brain chemistry, makes you feel better! I am lucky enough to have a snapshot that literally captures a moment in time for me .  The  moment  of time that I count as one of my absolute  happiest of all times,  I can refer to that moment in of time and no matter what I a doing, I can b...

  Went out yesterday with a friend,  a good friend yesterday. Haven't seen her in a while.  Thats odd. We live next door, Work you know, covid and work.  I forgot what its like just to sit and chat,  I chat all the time with people but of course its on a professional. basis  Everything is fluid now in my life.  Something I was once sure of  seems to be going wayside.  A monkey wrench in the plans.  I guess sometimes. you cant see the tornado when you are inside of it. So its good to stop; take a breather and reassess. It is good to bounce things off of a friend now and then,  Its good to bounce things off of someone that knows you more than anyone.   One of my favorite quotes about friendship  is “ A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”  ―  Shania Twain,  From This Moment On My early morning twist of gratitude for a Monday.

  I don't know if I am eloquent speaker,  I don't think I am. I stammer when trying to get a thought out.(which is  very debilitating if you talk for a living. ) I find myself in my work talking to clients and trying to find the positive  find the strength,  Solution based therapy? Maybe I never was able to fit into one system or utilize one type of technique in therapy.  Every once in a while though I come up with a gem; and not always sure where it came from.  Last night I was talking to someone  struggling  in recovery "to choose life in order to live "   I don't think I can be that eloquent to put those words together.  It had to come from somewhere. So I had to look it up,  Well it did. I wasn't the author( I knew it!)  Who ever wrote the book of Deuteronomy was.  It's Deuteronomy (30:19) The actual quote is "Choose  Life in order  that you and your descendants may live" Choosing life. can mean a lot of...

  Searching for a twist this morning. I am afraid I am not going to find it! The temperature is going to be around 95 degrees here today ( thats like 35 c)   Changes are happening. that I am not in control of. I am concerned about a lot of things.  There's a busy day ahead for me.  Im booked today  with clients, which hasn't been the case recently but that leaves little time for me.  I am thinking not a lot of room for a twist of gratitude this morning. What would I do. what would I say?  I would tell a client to look for the pockets of joy. Then hold on to them.  Break it all down. sometimes it s too daunting to look at the whole picture. Break it down. Work on a small piece of something at a time. For instance, ( take note Anita!) I am having a great cup of coffee.  I have a full slate  of people today.   Did I mention the coffee?( I think I can have a full blog on coffee actually)  Harlee cuddled with me.    W...

I  love my fur babies.  If one of them falls asleep on me  if Im sitting in the chair  I will  stay in that chair frozen until they get up.  I think thats the law; isnt it? The cats or the dog,  I find myself just  petting then,  Calming   my anxiety and  reducing my stress level.   There is so much information out there  about the health benefits of having a companion animal, dog or cat ( I am sure this also works for bunnies and guinea pigs).  Dogs and I think, cats as well understand  when we are sad, when we have  had  hard day and  many  dogs will lick the tears off your face as you cry.  I like to tell people that if I was on the titanic with my husband and dog and I  was  on a lifeboat with  one seat left for either the dog or the husband, the husband be swimming.  I also tell all my clients that dogs are the best therapists you can have   ( I can...

 I love rainy mornings. I actually love the sound of rain on the roof and fall asleep to that everynight.  Its always  is enhanced when its an actual rainy morning.   Its calming to lay in bed cuddled with the dog or your pillow or your significant other and just listen to the rain.  Theres not a lot of peaceful times in this world today,  We are so divided,  I dread turning on  the news and I  can not stand reality tv.   But there's something about the sound of rain on a roof that calms the soul,  I guess thats why  its all over you tube or apps that are used to calm you.  Lots of healing in water,  There is a serenity at driving to work or coming home where the I see the ocean and New York Harbor.  It  can be an awful day; so many of these days have been awful days lately.  But I am grateful for the rain,  I pray places like California that need it get it.  I love listening to it even walkin...

Ever get the feeling that you are caught up in  something that is like bigger and greater then you? Like you were out  swimming in the ocean  and all of a sudden l a Tsumni comes in and somehow you are afloat but you are  riding a wave to who knows where!!  Welcome to my world,  I have to I think that when something like this happens. we have to take stock of the evidence.   Looking at the other storms we have ridden out in the past.  Looking at how we have done so,  I think knowing your strengths in this counts,  Knowing  what you are capable of  helps.  Keeping your head above water.   Not giving up,  Back in the olden days when people actually you to send written resumes out I had a friend that hung up rejection letters on the wall No No No No,  Talk about negative reinforcement!!   That for sure is a no go.  T ride the wave you must create  a mental image of you Surfing . ( maybe with a li...

  Its May 17th,  For some people its the celebration of Norwegian Independence.  It was also my parents wedding anniversary. They had a church wedding before  my dad went off to fight in World War II Today is also my little brothers Lou birthday.   He would have been 62 today,   He  started off life as my first cousin   a "double cousin". However  since the day he was born to the day he died (and beyond )has ALWAYS been my  sibling.  My first friend.  My confidant,  The only uncle my girls knew. I remember me being 6 and him being three and telling him Presdient Kennedy had died  and he looked at me like I had all the knowledge it the world,,,for a 6 year old anyways,  We experienced the teenage angst years together.  We supported each other through the myriad of losses that  besieged the family,  He often was my only support.  When he moved out of the area he text me everyday ad was my soundi...

  Theres a false claim I think perpetuated by one of the presidents. (I think JFK) that the  Chinese character for chaos. also. means opportunity. Its not true.   a lot of literal license was taken there..but its a nice concept that you can find  opportunity in crisis.  One door opens another closes sort of thing,  Im trying to hold on to that especially right now. feeling swept up. im  the moment.  Something dear to me  is closing.  Im not handling it well and  doing my best not to act out at times. ( After all I am a seasoned professional).     I think sometimes. we. are all  with things so out of the blue they paralyze us and we have to figure out how to get moving again.  Riding the wave out,   Well perhaps this Blog was born out the the crisis thats presented itself in my life  right now.    So if there's only one  thing to be grateful for the closing of this clinic, it is ...

  Blasting music in my home office this Sunday morning. A smile comes on my face. I am thinking of the time one of my daughters came in to tell me to lower the music  Just  a qualifying for retirement eternal teenager at times wearing a Star Trek Captains t shirt.  At the same figuring out this blogging and  career  thing. Trying to figure out what the universe is trying to tell me;  or teach me I imagine you know the feeling I am listening to the song "Dont Stop Believing" by Journey.  I think because I need to hear that message now. Maybe a  lot of us do, ( After all. a lot of us are living on a prayer;  thats another song isn't it?) I have suggested to clients to make a positive music. playlist,  Anti anxiety playlist,  anti depression playlist. Theres a lot of power in music.  It has helped me through. Lifted me up.  Inspired  me and  helped me heal, Thankful and grateful for the power of music in my lif...

They are closing the clinic I am working  in soon, The state is saving money taking away something needed  from the neighborhood and combining us with an older clinic in a more run down  building, further away in a different neighborhood.   Reluctant retirement papers in.  Decisions to be made.  Praying a lot about the situation.  I have some good friends there I don't want to leave them.  I can do without the ever increasing red tape and paperwork and with the working &  personal style of the people above me.  Lots of ponder.  Where are my twists of gratitude?  Actually there are plenty.  As I look back I think of  the Garrth Brooks song "the Dance". did you ever hear it?  It is a  break up song   "I could have missed the pain , but I would have missed the dance"  Thats how I feel right now.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to have met my first team leader at this clinic .  He h...

Its very early in the morning here,  I enjoy getting up this time actually. I think its always my favorite time of the day. when the sky goes from black to purple  to gray.  I guess that stems back to when the kids were little it was the only time I had for myself. I like hearing the bird song!  Its very peaceful listening to them.  They have a lesson for us I think,  They sing their song to each other  each morning,, They rise early.  They spread their wings and fly. they remember who they are and sing every morning,  I am grateful for them and for their lessons they have for us every day. My twist of gratitude before my coffee this morning!

 

  It has occurred to me  that I can feel afraid when I am walking into a decision where the outcome is unknown.  I guess thats true for all of us,  Changing jobs.  Accepting a promotion.   Retiring.  Dating again.  Joining a meetup group.  Lots of unknowns in all these things. Some more life altering than others I would say.    I am wondering where to find the twist of gratitude on all of this.  Maybe the gratitude comes in how we handle these things,  I guess I am grateful for the fact I can use humor in certain situations. defuse my anger.  ( at times) Like sending  a funny meme to a  co worker about a crazy boss or the absurdity of being an essential worker during a pandemic.  There are  twists of gratitude that come from using laughter or  twists of gratitude in knowing we all have to deal with unknowns and somehow;  just somehow we survive !

  Note to self.  Fears are not Facts  Fears are not Facts Fears are not Facts

Thought of the Day "Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it".  

  Well here it is!!!  Long over due  but here it is.  The title;  maybe I should explain the title! Life on the rocks. Isn't that that true for most of us? I think life has been a bit rocky for is all the past few years,  I don't know anyone left unchanged after this never ending pandemic.   My life has been.   At any rate  The blog is here. I wanted it to be out in March,  I  think I have been stuck on a vision for the blog, other than I know I wanted to do it. After thinking about it; it has occurred to me that the vision for the blog was all about the twist of gratitude .  After all I encourage people to weave gratitude through their lives even in their darkest moments.   Like a twist of lime in seltzer gives essence to the seltzer, it gives it flavor.  Just like gratitude in my life or yours.  It is hard to find the gratitude in the midst of a crisis, in the midst of a trauma and dare...