May 17th twist

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Grief comes in waves.  Grief for a relationship that ended.  A job you miss.  A childhood lost to trauma,  A person you lost.   I am remembering my brother today on his birthday. 

Note to self.( that I tell everyone all the time) there's no timeline to grief.  There's no formula to how it works.   Its not a straight line.  Healing takes place in lighter moments.  When. you can laugh again and remember someone with a smile along with a tear.  Healing takes place in slow increments.  Sometimes you feel fine.  Then there are days when you are not.  I think for me  there has to be an acceptance that there is no resolution(other than we must all go forward)  There has to be an acknowledgment that  grief is the price of love.

Today I am grateful for that little boy with whom I played Rockem Sockem robots with.  For that sarcastic teenager  who had a crush on Stevie Nicks.  For the best and only Uncle my daughters knew.  For  so many other things about our life long relationship. 

 I miss you more than I can explain.  Happy birthday in heaven Lou.  A birthday twist for you.

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